Recipes For My Boys: A Bully At School

Thursday, September 8, 2011

A Bully At School

How my heart aches for My Oldest Son!  He is 8 years old, in third grade and being bullied at school.  This is the second school year this has happened.  By the same boy and his recruits.  Another child, whom my son once thought was his friend, has begun to harass him as well.

The bully was in his classroom last year.  He threatened my son and our lives...at the age of 7!  He continually told lies about my son to try and get him in trouble.  He even told his Grandmother my son poured water over his head at the school fall festival.  The Grandmother was getting all over me until...I told her my son didn't even attend the festival as he was sick.  She walked away...dragging the bully with her.  Her head bowed in embarrassment...tears in her eyes.  She waited until the last bell rang to take her grandson in the classroom.  I waited for her and told her it wasn't her fault but to please find out the facts before she went around accusing others.


My heart breaks....

Hurtful words, threats and now, physical abuse.  My son, who was in Occupational Therapy at school once a week last year, was trying to cross the monkey bars yesterday.  A big effort is put into this.  What should have been a proud moment turned into pain as the boy came from the other side and kicked his hands off.  Causing him to fall and get hurt.  This has happened two different times....school has been in for 6 days.

My son asked the bully why he wanted to hurt him...the bully replied, he wanted to kill him.  Such strong words from a young child in third grade!  My son keeps asking me WHY MAMA?  WHY, does this boy want to treat me this way?  This comes from a boy with such empathy.  The one that cries over a hurt bug.  Who comforts his twin brothers when they are hurt or cry.

I fight my tears as I explain that some children just hurt inside.  They find a way to release this by hurting others in any way they can.  I told my son that..He is the bigger of the two.  He is the one that everyone looks up to.  He is the one that can do anything and everything!  I tell him about the Beauty that is inside each of us.  Some let it shine through...others keep it hidden.  They try to darken others days but Our Light Within Will Brighten Even the Darkest Day!

He left for school full of encouragement and a YES I CAN attitude!  He felt like he could accomplish anything that presents itself to him.  He would talk to this boy and tell him he isn't going to take it any longer! How Proud I am of him!

My husband did talk to the Assistant Principal today and told her of the situation since the teacher couldn't control it by just our son telling her.  She called me and told me that both teachers will pay close attention and the two shouldn't meet on the playground.  She also said she talked to the boy and his grandmother and they would co-operate.  The Assistant Principal stated that she wish she could tell me that this bullying wouldn't happen again....but she couldn't .  My son it to immediately tell the teacher if the boy bothers him again.

I pray for this little boy.  A cute little blonde haired boy that lives with his grandparents while his Daddy, new Step Mama and half brother and sister live together.  A broken home...breaks the spirit and being of such a small, young child at times.  The only attention he gets is to inflict pain in words and actions, towards my son.
My first born child at the age of 40.  My little man.



TWO WEEKS LATER

We are going tomorrow to another school, one in our zone.  I asked my son if he wanted to change schools,  he replied..YES ...I won't be bullied by ? and ?.

8 comments:

Rebecca @ A Dash of Thyme said...

I am so sorry you, your family and especially your sweet little boy are going through this! My oldest just started Kindergarten this year and in my head all I can think of is when bullying will start. Its so sad to think that we send our children off to school to be taught an education and they are not able to focus on schooling but are forced to focus on defending themselves. My heart aches for you and your little boy. Sending prayers and hugs!

Bia Rich said...

Oh My! Debi, tears are rolling down my face right now. This is so upsetting. My boy had some trouble last year in PRESCHOOL, i mean a 3 Y.O. kid was bullying my boy. I can't imagine kindergarten or later. I wish well for their families and that they would do the same to their kids as we do to ours. My son's teacher yesterday told me how happy she was with Cannon, that he helped her the whole day and she knew he was gonna be the one to help her all year long. It's how we raise them, it's what we tell them that make them bullies and the broken families have the worst ones for sure. I hope your little one gets thru this, I'm sure you are raising him right! And thanks for sharing what you are going thru with us!XOXO

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry that your son is going through this and because of this, is wanting to change schools and leave any friends that he has. I hope that he will understand what you are telling him, that not all kids are like that and also that they are hurting too. The school needs to see that the boy gets the help that he needs now, before he gets worse at bullying. That's just the first step for him. Please keep us posted on how your son does. And thank you for all the wonderful recipes.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing - My heart breaks for you and your son. You are such a strong wise woman and seems to me (a total stranger) you are raising your boys right! Excellent Job! I am so proud of you! We have 4 children - 3 girls (14 yrs, 11 yrs and 7) and a boy (5 yrs). I won't pour my heart out to you but I feel/know your pain. My 2 oldest have experienced the ugliness of bullying this year. Words Hurt! I too will pray for this little boy - may he find peace. And Prayers for You and Your Son! Much Love to You and Yours! Stay Strong! (((hugs)))
Scarlet Renee'

Debi said...

Thank You My Dear, Sweet Ones!!! My son's school work has goon down so much from last year. We noticed something was wrong..his attitude for school work...school itself.

We are going to both schools tomorrow. Just heartbroken and sad right.

As a Mama...I should be able to protect my son from this.......

Lark (SparkyLarky)@ Lark's Country Heart said...

i sit here on the couch reading this with tears running down my face. And my blood boiling along with my heart breaking.

WHY? I dont understand HATE!

My daughter was bullied, and I know how you feel.

Served up with Love said...

My heart is breaking for your sweet little boy. I too was a child that was picked on throughout school, its pains me to hear of a child going thru that. I remember how terrible it was. I really think this child is just in need of some help/therapy. Its just a sad situation. My son was bullied in school until he got a little older and now doesnt have a problem. I worry about my daughter just starting school. I will tell you that one day in I think 8th grade we were playing hockey in the gym. This same girl and I went after the puck, I went to hit the puck, hit it and then the stick swung up and hit her in the knee by accident. I never, ever had a problem after that again. Still to this day when I see this person she still will bring up the time I messed up her knee. We graduated 20 years ago, It was not intentional but got the point across. She will now never forget me!! I reminded my son of that, they do not have the upper hand. I am sure that is what got him through it. Hold your ground and do what you need to do for your child, if a new school is necessary then go for it. I am here for you Debi if you need me and give that sweet little boy an extra hug from me and sending you a hug as well. No child should EVER have to go through that pain.

Amy said...

It is sad that some times young kids can be so mean. They learn it from somewhere. Now my son is only 9 months old, so i am NO expert, but because I want to be a good mommy I have been watching and being mentored by other moms. May I suggest a video for your son... Veggie Tales Dave and the Giant Pickle...

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